How long should you chase her?

Depending on the exposure and orientation of growing up, we seem to believe that a guy who wants a babe would do everything for her abi? Including chase for months, sometimes years on end just to get her to say yes and she in turn, would do everything to frustrate him to see if he would stay. Its a toxic and very unhealthy cycle, more importantly, a red flag in maturity metrics and a waste of everybody’s time at the end; including the lady.

Dear Kings, chasing a lady for more than 6 months without any sense of direction in all that time is really more of a function of your self esteem than her drama. Think of arriving for a 10am meeting at 9:30am. Then you begin to wait and by 2pm, the meeting still has not held. How do you feel? Most busy people would likely walk away from that point. Others would try and hang on for another 2- 4 hours depending on who they wanted to see and probably how much was at stake. Money brings these things to perspective and sometimes sex (or the idea of it) does the same or does it?

It is clear that whoever invites you for a 10am meeting but doesnt get ready/ show up even by 11am clearly does not respect you or your time. Those who do respect you would either have rescheduled several hours ahead or sent multiple apologies ahead clearly stating their position. This is key in an ecosystem where time equates money. Bringing that standpoint into a courtship scenario; I daresay a lady who make you wait several months (for context; more than 3–6 months) and/or years w/o a clear direction of her position on your proposal is wasting your time and messing with your self esteem.

I know some “defenders” will argue that “what if she is not ready?” This question is in itself the answer: “She isnt ready”. There is no offence there. The fact that she doesnt clearly say so is the indictment of the offence of time wasting and zero respect. Another variation of this Q is: what if she is in-between 2,3,4 or 27 other guys and trying to make a choice? To which I wish her all the best and tell my fellow kings to move on. After-all, she needs a clear head to process such degree of confusion.

Any guy/lady with wisdom would know that one of the first things to do in such matters is to back off all interested parties until clarity gains a foothold. But some people are mean and selfish (especially when there appears to be “incentives” like money). Rather than be honest, they string all said parties along for a ride using various tactics (also known as playing games- another sign of immaturity) and their emotions as collateral damage in such endeavors. Let such people be and move on with a clear head. You need that far more than anything tbh.

Finally, there is the school of thought that says; “if you give him/her on a platter, he/she will not value it.” Then they add some weird quote “men value what they worked hard for”. Who even came up with such nonsense anyway? Men that work hard for 30 days and squander their paycheck on drinks in quilox or something similarly foolish dont value it abi? OR men who are hungry at work and order fast food dont value the food because it came quickly? The reality is that your delaying/ playing games et al has no impact on the quality of the relationship. Plus, you can only play such games to the extent that you havent met your match. Remain blessed.